There Can Be Numerous Signs of Infidelity
Francois de la Rochefoucauld said:
"When love becomes labored, we welcome an act of infidelity towards ourselves to free us from fidelity." Needless to say, the noted cynic Mr. de la Rochefoucauld was not one to stress communication as a means to achieve a goal of harmony and love in our lives. Fortunately, we have come to understand that infidelity is not an act that should be considered a normal state of affairs, but an aberration that can come about when intimacy within a relationship has been compromised. This is not an instance of inevitability, but something that can be seen in advance and, hopefully, dealt with successfully. This means that although there may be valid underlying reasons for a partner to think about infidelity, these thoughts should be an indication for a need to draw closer and communicate and not act on impulse.
If you find yourself looking for signs of infidelity, the first question that you might ask yourself is "why?" If you have experienced the pain of infidelity in the past, it's more than understandable to take mental steps in order to avoid a repeat situation. However, if you have already been through this scenario, you will already know what to look for. If you have never experienced this situation, but feel that "something just isn't right", then taking a closer look is a good way to proceed. This, of course, should be done long before any accusations are levelled, since unsubstantiated arguments could easily damage a relationship as well. So let's take that closer look.
If you think that that the old movie "classic" signs of infidelity (lipstick on the collar, unfamiliar perfume scents, etc.) are the only clues you can observe, then guess again. We live in a far more complex world than that which has been depicted in old movies. Technology has given us means of communication that eclipses the concept of a clandestine meeting in an isolated motel off of a country road. Communication in the form of emotional infidelity can actually take place in the bedroom with the unsuspecting partner asleep while a sexually charged conversation is taking place on the computer! The image of the one partner on the other telephone extension and listening in on a suspicious conversation has also gone the way of extinction. Cell phones make it easy to carry on conversations in just about any location.
The Internet has provided an ideal place for people to meet and form relationships that can easily go beyond the casual. The questions that you may ask could have to do with password protected accounts on the family computer. But in the long run, the clues lie more with behavioral psychology rather than with technology.
While a sudden interest in looking younger or a change in appearance can easily be attributed to a mid-life crisis when reaching a certain age, this doesn't apply to everyone - especially to younger adults. The inability to talk face-to-face and eye-to-eye is sometimes a sign of guilt. The loss of affection and the pulling away from a partner says a lot more than a Facebook account. The most effective thing that can be done, when a noticeable change of behavior has occurred, is to make the time to sit down and have a conversation. Putting something like this off can be a serious mistake if there is some reason to suspect infidelity.
