CASE STUDY - "JULIE"
"My husband and I have been married for about four years, and have known each other for nine years. During the course of our marriage, he has always been predictable. He left the house at 7:20 AM every morning to catch the 7:30 AM bus. For the past three months he has been leaving for work earlier and earlier. Sometimes I'm not even up yet when he leaves.
I have also noticed that he is returning later. He would always catch the 5:30 PM bus to return home by 7:00 PM. In recent months this has also changed. He returns home much later with the excuses of meetings or overload of paper work. I ask why he doesn't call me to let me know that he's coming home late. He'll snap at me and say, "It's work, Julie!"
It's not that I don't trust him. I want to, but lately there have been too many indications that there could be someone else in his life. When I ask my husband about who else stays late at work with him, he always mentions the same names. A couple of guys' names and one female name. This woman's name is continually brought up into the conversation. My husband has become extremely irritable lately, especially on the weekends.
I have begun to make notes of when my husband leaves early and arrives home late from work. The pattern that I'm beginning to see is that it's almost always on Mondays and Thursdays."
WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW
Working a lot of overtime is one of the most common signs seen when you have a cheating spouse. Ninety percent of the time, a person who is having an extra-marital affair cheats with someone with whom he or she is friendly and close with at their job.
An affair with someone at work just doesn't happen overnight. If you and your spouse are experiencing marital problems, your spouse might need someone to talk to. If your spouse has known the other person for a while, he or she may feel they can trust and confide in that other person. When a spouse has an affair with someone at work, the amount of time spent away from home can be limited. The spouse will say that he or she either has a late meeting or is working overtime in order to cover up the time away.
Establishing who your spouse is cheating with is relatively easy. Listen closely to what your spouse has to say when talking about work. There might be a refer-ence to a co-worker in conversation or the use of the name as one of the people who also has to put in the extra time. There are numerous excuses for a spouse to work overtime, such as cut-backs on the job, or restructuring in the company. Although these excuses could very well be true, this is still a pattern to look out for.
For example, if your spouse arrives home late on Fridays and Mondays it may be because he or she will want to spend time with the lover before the weekend"and then again after the weekend. (Of course, the spouse may say he or she is working overtime on Saturday, too.)
For infidelity Answers, Help, Support, and Friendship please visit infidelity.com.
These signs are among those compiled from The 28 Tell-Tale Signs of a Cheating Spouse written by Anthony DeLorenzo, founder of infidelity.com as well as a nationally known private investigator, and his wife Dawn Ricci who is also a leading expert in the field. Mr. DeLorenzo has appeared on Oprah, Geraldo, Sally Jesse Raphael, Montel Williams and many others.
