Forgiving Infidelity - Signs That He Is Really Sorry About His Affair
Infidelity is the great relationship killer or mutilator and it's
occurrence in a relationship injures that relationship and changes it
and the individuals involved. This unfortunately is your reality as
infidelity has visited your relationship through your partner's
cheating. You do love this man and you want to stay with him but you are
unsure whether he is really sorry or if he is just saying sorry so that
he can continue in his cheating ways. Forgiving infidelity requires
that he is really sorry about his affair but how do you know that he is
truly sorry? What are the signs that he is really sorry about his
affair?
Was he quick to make things right? A man who is really sorry about his affair will apologize quickly without trying to blame you or circumstances or his partner in crime. He may try to explain what happened but it will be with the aim of making things right with you. He will not let you walk away in anger without expressing his remorse in every way that he knows. A man who tells you that it is your fault or who reacts in anger that you found out or who shrugs of the infidelity or who leaves you alone in your anger for days after the discovery of the affair is NOT really sorry and forgiving his infidelity will be like giving him permission to continue cheating on you. Forgiving infidelity requires your man to be quick in trying to save the situation as this shows his anxiety to deal with the situation quickly because of how much the fallout is affecting him.
Is he anxious to clear his record of the infidelity? A man who is really sorry is concerned about what you think about him and will want you to understand that he is still the same person, despite his lapse in judgment. He will thus try and remind you of better times and of how far you have come as a couple; in a bid to get you to focus on the positive things in your relationship and somehow save the relationship. On the other side will be a man who justifies his affair by telling you of all the things that were wrong with you and the relationship that then pushed him into the affair. This type of guy is not sorry about his infidelity and if you forgive his infidelity then you will open the door to an assortment of affairs with a range of women.
Is he upset at his compromise? A man who is really sorry about his affair will be distressed or troubled by his foolishness in having the affair. It's like he has come to his senses and realized what he has done and what he could loss if he loses you. He is suddenly aware of the quality of gal he had in you and how he simply messed up by having an affair. On the other hand if your man thinks that his affair is no big deal or that he is somehow allowed to cheat on you or that he can always get another gal if this affair upsets you; then this man is NOT sorry! Forgiving infidelity requires that your man is visibly troubled by the affair and what it has done to your relationship.
Does he long to be restored to relationship wholeness? A man who is really sorry feels the impact of his affair and the separation that is an outcome of the affair and he longs to get back to how things were before the affair. He is nostalgic about the 'good old days' and will talk about how great things were and how good you were together before the affair messed things up for both of you. He may even remember happy times or moments that you don't even remember.
Is he ready to do whatever is necessary to make things right? A man who is really sorry is willing to do whatever it takes to make things right with you. He will agree to seek counseling or do whatever he needs to do for both of you to be okay again. You cannot of course make him jump through unreasonable hops if you genuinely want to forgive him. You want him to do whatever it is that would help you come to terms with his affair and its aftermath. Forgiving infidelity requires that your man be willing to make amends to restore the relationship.
Forgiving infidelity is tricky as real forgiveness can only occur if your man is really sorry. If he is not really sorry then forgiveness cannot be given. If you forgive a man who is not really sorry then you open the door to a life of affairs.
Was he quick to make things right? A man who is really sorry about his affair will apologize quickly without trying to blame you or circumstances or his partner in crime. He may try to explain what happened but it will be with the aim of making things right with you. He will not let you walk away in anger without expressing his remorse in every way that he knows. A man who tells you that it is your fault or who reacts in anger that you found out or who shrugs of the infidelity or who leaves you alone in your anger for days after the discovery of the affair is NOT really sorry and forgiving his infidelity will be like giving him permission to continue cheating on you. Forgiving infidelity requires your man to be quick in trying to save the situation as this shows his anxiety to deal with the situation quickly because of how much the fallout is affecting him.
Is he anxious to clear his record of the infidelity? A man who is really sorry is concerned about what you think about him and will want you to understand that he is still the same person, despite his lapse in judgment. He will thus try and remind you of better times and of how far you have come as a couple; in a bid to get you to focus on the positive things in your relationship and somehow save the relationship. On the other side will be a man who justifies his affair by telling you of all the things that were wrong with you and the relationship that then pushed him into the affair. This type of guy is not sorry about his infidelity and if you forgive his infidelity then you will open the door to an assortment of affairs with a range of women.
Is he upset at his compromise? A man who is really sorry about his affair will be distressed or troubled by his foolishness in having the affair. It's like he has come to his senses and realized what he has done and what he could loss if he loses you. He is suddenly aware of the quality of gal he had in you and how he simply messed up by having an affair. On the other hand if your man thinks that his affair is no big deal or that he is somehow allowed to cheat on you or that he can always get another gal if this affair upsets you; then this man is NOT sorry! Forgiving infidelity requires that your man is visibly troubled by the affair and what it has done to your relationship.
Does he long to be restored to relationship wholeness? A man who is really sorry feels the impact of his affair and the separation that is an outcome of the affair and he longs to get back to how things were before the affair. He is nostalgic about the 'good old days' and will talk about how great things were and how good you were together before the affair messed things up for both of you. He may even remember happy times or moments that you don't even remember.
Is he ready to do whatever is necessary to make things right? A man who is really sorry is willing to do whatever it takes to make things right with you. He will agree to seek counseling or do whatever he needs to do for both of you to be okay again. You cannot of course make him jump through unreasonable hops if you genuinely want to forgive him. You want him to do whatever it is that would help you come to terms with his affair and its aftermath. Forgiving infidelity requires that your man be willing to make amends to restore the relationship.
Forgiving infidelity is tricky as real forgiveness can only occur if your man is really sorry. If he is not really sorry then forgiveness cannot be given. If you forgive a man who is not really sorry then you open the door to a life of affairs.
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